JankFest 2023: Nominees And Decks For Ashes: Reborn’s Most Prestigious (citation needed) Evening

My name is ImpossibleGerman and I’m here to tell you- if you’re not janky, you’re stanky.

Below this copy and pasted paragraph, dear reader, is a chronicle of the stankiest of the stank, the chosen few who brave the waters of the Off-Meta Ocean, the legendary working class Johnathans and Timothys who power this great country of mixed metaphors and bad (probably) decks. Their sacrificial surrender of their own good sense and better judgment must be honored. It’s Jankfest 2023.

Vote here. Merry JankFest, y’all.
Love, ImpossibleGerman.

Power Creep Bypass — by NinjaDanceMat

https://ashes.live/decks/48853/
From Tim:

Why play Wallop over Frozen Crown when you can play both! This deck looks terrible but is actually pretty legit, wait where are you going!
First five the books except Mirror Spirit and take Will to Survive instead.

Make sure to play Summon Ice Golem late in round one as a fun surprise, add give him the Will to Survive (and pray they don’t have ice trap lol).

Use Rimea’s overpowered ability to rearrange the top cards of the deck for River Skald, an explosive combo! That’s it, that’s the entire reason for using Rimea in this deck, I don’t even have any copies of Ancestral Army clearly a terrible choice for Rimea given her battlefield is only four.

Combine Beast Mage, Dark Presence, Frostback Bear and any of the wonderful attack granting alteration spells to punch your enemy in the face.

If I didn’t already have my 10 wins with Rimea this would obviously be the deck I take to my next Knockout Tournament.

Legion — by Redking

https://ashes.live/decks/48649/
From Redking:

Dimona aggro using exhaust and resummon tech. FF is usually: resummon, 2 or 3 allies (for the matchup), and bone crow and/or small sac for the remaining slots. Trying fester and crypt guardian tech. Also vanish and dreamlock vs burn. Trying lightbringer as anti mill wall tech

Buzzer Beater — by Mbauers

https://ashes.live/decks/share/86abbb57-be60-4b94-8d6f-db753f20338b/
From Matt: (editors note: this is pure evil)

Goal: see if you can get your Jankfest opponent to agree to a chess timer game. Then, make them constantly use up their timer on YOUR turn. Nightsong Cricket, Abundance, Realm Walker, Imperial Ninja, Generosity, Anguish, Dealer’s Choice

Use the cricket and spirit foci in different ways — thin their discard so you can make your cricket choices faster. Or, thin your discard so they have to keep giving you the card that you want (generosity to get more finches or refresh abundance is good).

Why druid and sunshield? You have to stay alive long enough to get them to use their timer. And druid can fetch a second book copy if you med one from deck round 1. A well-timed Hollow after they meditate can cause your opponent to take a long turn, too, as they re-think their meds and side actions. Strange copy something into a finch to dissuade future attacks.

Standard FF: 3 Books, Druid (hopefully get a 2nd book copy), flex (generosity, strange copy)

Good luck!

My Shot — by Creevedog

https://ashes.live/decks/share/ba9a80c6-ab70-40fe-8c3a-600ce8dbdda9/
From Charlotte:

Cast of Characters:

Alexander Hamilton Xander Heartsblood

Aaron Burr Adept Duelist

Marquis de Lafayette/Thomas Jefferson Sonic Swordsman

Hercules Mulligan/John Adams Crypt Guardian

John Laurens/Phillip Hamilton Standard Bearer

Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton Shepherd of Lost Souls

Angelica Schuyler Sun Sister

Peggy Schuyler/Maria Reynolds Rose Fire Dancer

George Washington Immortal Commander

King George Imperial Ninja

Act I

Will to Survive

Knowledge Seeker

Seeds of Aggression

Inflame

Call to Action

Captivate

Rally the Troops

Fighting Spirit

Act II

New Ideas

Clashing Tempers

Remorse

Shared Sorrow

Law of Grace

Close Combat

Era’s End

Devotion

Important: If you med away Crystal Archer, use Reincarnate to get it back. You are not throwing away your Preemptive Shot.

Lyrial and the Disreputable Dog — by Abby

https://ashes.live/decks/share/eaf01e54-5a5c-4dc5-b732-e46b06e86cf0/
From Abby:

First Five- Body Inversion, Chant of Sacrifice, Shifting Mist, Summon Shadow Hound, Ancestral Army, Visions.

Inspired by the Old Kingdom books by Garth Nix. Rimea stands in for Lireal and commands spirits. Shadow Hounds stand in for the Disreputable Dog. Realm Walker, Fade Away, Reflections, Final Cry, and To Shadows, Fog, Mist, are your tools of Death, Particle Shield is protective Charter Magic.

Avatar, The Last Airbender — by Shadowfire

https://ashes.live/decks/share/d3baa490-13de-41dc-9bff-46c20148de30/

Preparation H — by Treatment

https://ashes.live/decks/share/1cf32827-f627-4388-8cf8-faa76263addc/
From Treatment:

As(s)Treatments A through G were a complete failure.

It’s definitely janky, but on the whole, feels good.

Augury On Line — by Unpaid Intern #2

https://ashes.live/decks/share/49702e86-3e79-4e48-a3ff-0b3e333f98ff/
From Killercactus/Unpaid Intern #2:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1sb1GeWOd_ZsH6UGKH4NzGJERVl_q61wO/view?usp=drivesdk

Should all your books be bottom-decked…
And never drawn in time… Don’t worry this spell has your back… Get an Augury on line.

(Chorus)
All that you need is a Dispel… Some Rose Gardeners work fine… Break out your Gates and Tidal Shifts… Get an Augury on line.

Your Omen Bringers can help out…
It’s Fiona’s time to shine… But Astrea can grab Judgment… Before Augury’s on line.

CHORUS

You can grab Farewells and Frost Bites…
If tokens are gone in time… You can focus up your Fallen books… Get an Augury on line.

CHORUS

You can get an Essence Druid…
Three more books, and still one die… Royal Charm, Beguile and second Owl… Then Round 2, its Judgment time.

CHORUS

So when you’re playing this Jankfest…
Sat down with a glass of wine… I’ll be digging cards out of my deck… With my Augury on line.

All that you need is a Dispel…
Some Rose Gardeners work fine… Break out your Gates and Tidal Shifts… Get an Augury on line.

All that you need is a Dispel…
Some Rose Gardeners work fine… Break out your Gates and Tidal Shifts… Get an Augury on line.

Death by a Million Cuts — by Killercactus

https://ashes.live/decks/share/2c1cf6d4-914d-42ee-bffe-1c5d356f19aa/
From Killercactus:

Open with the ready spells and Gates and Slash up to 10 times in round 1, then Slash even more after that.

Orthogonally Diagonal… — by DubiousArchivist

https://ashes.live/decks/48172/
From DubiousArchivist:

As per title.

History:
Original: 3 Crypt Guardians, 1 Drain Vitality, no Adept Duelists, no Mist Spirits

Change 1:
-1 Crypt Guardian, +1 Adept Duelist (intended to have a better opening against Realm Walker + Hunting Weapons)

Change 2:
-1 Drain Vitality, +1 Summon Mist Spirit (intended to have better game against field heavy decks)

Final record: 2–2

River of Blood — by Delementary

https://ashes.live/decks/share/fd2dd7f6-a702-4c56-8a14-80aedeb8e578/
From Delementary:

Keep the blood flowing between CoT, Blood Archer, and Living Doll! Hose down any survivors with plain old water.

FF (Full Jank Rush): CoT, Ritualist (2nd CoT), Blood Archer, Living Doll, Accelerate

FF2: CoT, Ritualist (2nd CoT), SS, Summon Turtle, Sumon Ruin Dweller, Blood Puppeteer

Super Ice-Crystal Tsunami Barrage! — by Fred

https://ashes.live/decks/share/804bf36b-e14a-47e2-aaac-37ce7d561353/
From Fred:

FF: Summon Frost Frog, Crystal Archer, Hunting Weapons, Veil, Gorrenrock/RW+FPing/
DD+Frost Fang

The whole point of this deck is to try to get a swing with magnified crystal archer-hunting weapons and frost frog for a total of 4 ping dmg and exhausting a 2 life unit.’

Charming Yet Arrogant — by Carl Diaz

https://ashes.live/decks/share/d8f86fb1-6e78-4f7c-83cb-ad9b0bb677ce/
From Carl:

FF: 2x Mind Fog, Shimmy, Charmer, Royal Charm, Blink/RA

Combos Wincon: Massive Growth + Mind Fog + Charmer + Arrogance after getting Charmer buffed via Mind Fog and Royal Charm.

Coolest Combo: ^^^
Underminer: Arrogance

Taylor Swift Presents: The Eras Tour — by ImpossibleGerman

https://ashes.live/decks/share/85aba496-a315-4acc-be0d-6fdd598ef1b5/
From ImpossibleGerman:

Namine is in her burn era ❤

Namine is a bit of an Ashes Anti-Hero, but she’s got Karma on her side and it seems like her Champagne Problems are over. After making hit record after hit record, she’s here to play the hits- and by the hits, we of course mean, uh, Blood Puppet and Admonisher spam. Her opponents won’t be able to Tolerate It.

Shared Sorrow is more than happy to swap one of your many single die allies to grab Era’s End back out of the bin, and if that fails, it’s obviously time to crank the stadium’s sound system and fire off an Encore.

You know the drill…it’s Death by a Thousand Cuts.

1.8.24 — by FloraSnow

https://ashes.live/decks/share/009ad59b-c1ff-4d3b-8d1e-ae344b6f470b/
From Flora:

Y’all I got married last week!!!!

Aradel- Me, a beautiful gorgeous redhead who cries a lot

Darkwater Hunter- My beautiful wife who loves sharks

Frost Fang- My 2 attendants

Raptor Herder- My wife’s 2 attendants

Holy Knight- Our officiant

Rose Gardener- Our florist

Enchanted Violinist- Our DJ

Beast Tamers- The lovely people at the camp where we sent our dog for the weekend

Frost Bite- The lovely winter weather

Abundance- The food

Biter + Creeper- Our bouquets

Crystal Armor- Our rings

Root Armor- Our dresses (just go with me here it’s the best I could do)

Frozen Crown- Our crowns/headpieces

Devotion + Undying Heart + Embrace- all should be pretty obvious

Dice spread represents our color scheme of blue+pink+white and can play at least some of the cards in the deck